My life

So they blocked LJ from the school computers-stupid move on their part. But now i'll post what i was going to post from school but couldn't

Shadows

The shadows grow
and cover more
the light is fading,
fading more
You didn't see
the shadows grow
You didn't see
How I hid within
You didn't see
the beastly things,
When the shadows began to grow.
The shadows lengthened
and you begin to see
You didn't want to
So you let it be.
The darkness grew some more
as the light begins to fade more quickly

Now over cast with gllom
there's no where left to hide
and teh beastly things have grown
so now what to do?
What do you do,
when you learn
that ther's no where
left to turn?


Go Away

Go away
and don't come back
you've been here long enough
you took everything we had
and then you took the rest.
How could you do that?
Haven't we had enough?
You our sordid past!
You knew we were nothing but rubble
Yet you still came into our world
and made yourself at home.
We accepted you.
Just the way you were.
We trusted you
and you knew how hard that was
Yet you broke it...
You broke us.
You knew what we had survived before
You knew the hell we had escaped
So when we thought we were truly FREE
you tore us down again.
You took all their was
and yet you found more to take
leaving shattered pieces of us.
Yet you still remain
You were told to go.
But you won't leave.
You broke us again
When you knew our sordid past.
You wouldn't let us be...
Why couldn't you just let us be?!?!




So as for the school blocking lj...thats just asking for trouble. People write on lj to VENT when they need to. So they decided to take that away from us? What were they thinking? are they asking for trouble? They're going to have more blow ups than they had before now. Stupid grown ups. Don't they know what they're doing? I wish they did....

    Why does it feel like this year is dragging by so slowly? Why does it also feel like it's flying by and I don't have enough time to do everything that I want? This year is just so very confusing. I want it done with, yet I don't want it to end. I'm just full of contradictions, and I know it. Truly, I do. Yet somehow it doesn't matter. Is it bad that I want this year done with? That I want all the heartache that's going to happen and all the tears and laughs an ups and downs done with? Is it bad to want that?

so apparently i share too much with people so i won't share anything on here but happy untrue events.

LIFE'S A BITCH AND THEN YOU DIE! Seems to be a good theme for now. I'm tired, bitchy and shouldn't be online cuz i'm only snapping at people. I'm going to bed.

So righ tnow i'mr eally bitchy because i'm really tired and running on four hours of sleep. something i'm NOT used to. I start tutoring Aoron(I think that's how she spells it) in math, an that aught to be interesting. Hopefully i'll be in a better mood. Today was a very very long day. Thankfully I got some things knocke off my to do list which is great. But...I need sleep. an I really don't have time for it. At least that's what it seems like. So i'm going to bed as soon as I find my bed, pick out tomorrow;s outfit, set the alarm, and get my backpack set. *yawns* And to think. This is only the first month of school. Someoby just shoot me now and get it over with.

sorry for all the ridiculously long entries...i don't think of how long it takes to read, just of getting things off my chest.

blah
head hurts
heat hurts
feet hurt
heart hurts
moms hurt
brothers hurt
i'm hurt
the world is hurt.

So anything else new?
Ick, i have this awful head ache and it won't go away and nothing is helping it. Tomorrow i have a lovely orthodontists apt and they beettter tell me when my styupid braces are coming off. THe homecoming theme sucks and was picked by the lower classman nbot by seniors like it should've been. So the theme is under the sea which has been done over before and i think i wrote about that already. but i ahve a really bad head ache that won't go away. It started during history and it has stayed with me since. I'm tired but i can't sleep. it's too hot to sleep even with only a sheet. And again it feels like my head is swimming with words that won't straighten themselves. I haven't had that issue in a long while. Not since tenth gradw which i guess wasn't that long ago. But... well ...the last time i was this jumbled nothing good happened. I had paper clips, and hair elastics, nails, and boy did i write. I don't think i've written muchsince tenth. It's as if i dried up> as if anythign i had to say i had already siad. But now it seems that i am chatty with myself again and need an outlet but i can't word things nicely to hide me true feelings anymore. they need a more traightforward path. and god that nightmare i had the other night. it still isn't cool and it frightens me wich i know is dumb because it was just a bad dream which is what i tell ant whenever he has one. He's been going to mom lately wiht his bad dreams though instead of me which i guess is good since i won't be here nect year but sad too because i miss my sweet little brother. Instead he tends to be either bratty like any other nine year old sould be or as if he's five and still can't do anything. H estill has issues with tying shoes and his bladder. His nose has been bleeding while he sleeps lately and he's just not been right since i've gotten home. He's changed...and i don't think it was for the better. He worries me a little. More than usual.and there isn't much i can do vecause there is 't anything that can be done. so it's hard. and now i'm tired but i think i'll try going to sleep.

I am lucky. Such a very lucky girl. I have friends that love me. And I should remember that more often.